By Dr Chinmaya Kumar Pani*

When someone you care about is diagnosed with cancer, it can feel like the world has suddenly shifted. You may find yourself at a loss for what to do or say, unsure of how to best support them through this challenging time. While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, offering love, understanding, and practical help can make a huge difference. In this article, we’ll explore ways you can be a source of comfort and strength for your loved one as they navigate their cancer journey.

Cancer is a life-changing diagnosis, not just for the person facing it, but for everyone around them. If someone you care about has cancer, you may feel overwhelmed, unsure of what to do, or how to best support them. The most important thing is that they know they aren’t alone in their journey. Here’s how you can make a difference.

1. Be There to Listen

Sometimes, what someone needs most is just someone to listen. Let them share their fears, frustrations, and hopes with you. Don’t feel pressured to offer advice or try to fix things. Instead, be present and let them know that their feelings are valid. This can help them feel understood and supported during a difficult time.

2. Offer Practical Help

Cancer treatment can be exhausting, and daily tasks may become overwhelming. Offering help with practical things—whether it’s cooking meals, driving to doctor’s appointments, or running errands—can lighten their load. Offer your assistance without waiting for them to ask. It may feel difficult for them to accept help, but it can be a huge relief.

3. Stay Informed About Their Diagnosis

Learning more about their type of cancer and treatment options shows that you care and are invested in their well-being. It can also help you understand what they are going through, allowing you to offer more thoughtful support. However, be mindful not to overwhelm them with too much information unless they want it.

4. Respect Their Emotional Space

Everyone responds to a cancer diagnosis differently. Some may want to talk about it, while others may need some space. Respect their boundaries and let them take the lead in how much they want to share. It’s okay if they don’t always want to talk about the illness—sometimes a quiet presence is all they need.

5. Encourage Positive Outlets

Encourage them to explore positive outlets, whether it’s engaging in hobbies, journaling, or seeking out a support group. If they’re interested, support their decision to speak with a counsellor or therapist. Staying connected to things they enjoy can help them feel more in control and empowered during treatment.

6. Stay Patient and Flexible

Cancer treatment can be unpredictable, with good days and tough days. Be patient and flexible, and understand that plans might change at the last minute. Keep offering your support, even on the tough days, and be understanding if they’re too tired or need extra care.

7. Remind Them They’re Not Alone

Remind them that they have a network of people who care about them. Sometimes just hearing “I’m here for you” can bring comfort. Keep in mind that it’s not just about big gestures; small, thoughtful check-ins—like sending a message or leaving a note—can brighten their day.

8. Look After Yourself, Too

Supporting someone through cancer can be emotionally draining. It’s important to take care of yourself, too. Make sure you’re getting the support you need and taking time to recharge. This way, you can continue to be there for your loved one without burning out.

Final Thoughts

Supporting a loved one with cancer isn’t always easy, and it often requires patience, empathy, and flexibility. The most important thing is to remind them that they’re not alone. By being there—whether it’s through listening, offering help, or simply providing a comforting presence—you can be a source of strength for them. Remember, it’s not about having all the answers but showing up with care and love every step of the way.

 

 

*The writer is a senior Consultant Medical, Pediatric Oncology & BMT at Bhubaneswar-based Utkal Hospital.